Bad guys

On Friday morning I was checking out some news sites at work and I saw the beginning of the coverage about the Sandy Brook School Shooting

I don't really know what to say about that. It was such horrible news to read and i watched it develop all day and I cried at my desk and I called David and I wanted so much to go hug my kids. 

When I got home I brought a ridiculously elaborate breakfast and hugged the kids and had a small talk with Kiernan about what happened.

I wasn't sure if I would tell him anything. He is so young. He heard me talking to mom about it (very evasively) and he asked what we were talking about.

I told him that a bad guy had hurt and killed some people and that some of the people were kids. I told him that it made me very sad.

He looked thoughtful and then said "So there is such a thing as real bad guys."

This was not a question. I affirmed the truth of his conclusion and then we talked about the police and the rarity of bad guys. He talked about bad guys quite a bit over the weekend. I answered whatever he asked and I hope he asked everything he wondered about. 

This is the beginning of our bigger conversation about the harshness of the world. It is probably a good time to start this. He will go to school in not too long and we will have to talk about all sorts of bad stuff...

We will talk about bully's and inappropriate touching and irreconcilable conflict and danger. 

We will try so hard to not scare him and to arm him for the world.

Those kids that died were about a year older than he is.

All those parents who weren't giving night time baths and stories and all those families with Christmas presents hiding in the closet for sweet babies who will never get to open them have just broken my heart.