A memorial and some scouting

My hair is brown again. Its a little red. It looks pretty good.

I had it done and felt very uncomfortable the entire time. I feel so unsettled having people serve me. I had this when getting my nails done with mom and Kathryn, and I felt this way the one time I got a massage, and having someone dye my hair instead of having David do it, or me doing it myself, felt wrong.

Plus it has covered my gray and I feel conflicted about that. I don't like feeling like I am making a decision out of vanity. Also my class reunion is coming up and I am worried that I am putting on a mask that I have no interest in presenting.

I like it well enough on its own but I am worrying about it more than I should.

I presented it to my work friends as my bougie hair, and the above is in fact what I mean.

I am a soccer mom on many levels and should be comfortable embracing that but for me the blue felt worlds more natural.

If I am to have an aspirational facade (as I think most of us do to one extent or another) I aspire toward the avant garde more than the housewives of xxx.

I have joined a running club in an attempt to increase the regularity of my running. To that end I took the kids for a run/scooter ride last week.

The kids were on spring break last week. This meant a lot pf video games for Kiernan and a lot of YouTube for Megan. It would have been way more outdoorsy if the weather were less gross.

David had a nasty fall off the trampoline and could easily have broken his leg. His foot slipped through the ladder and then he fell forward with his shin and ankle on the other side like a lever.

I gave Megan a fancy spa day.

Kiernan got a fancy hat.

My braiding is getting better.

David's foot got worse.

Megan convinced me to put beads in her hair...

now she wont take them out and its tricky to brush her hair.

I love doing these things to Megan's hair. I feel very unsure about all of them in terms of their successful execution and in terms of how people will receive them. Mostly I love that she has an idea and I can help her realize it. She sees a cartoon with a princess with rainbow hair and I give her the rainbow hair (in as much as I am able). She finds a commercial or product that she wants to try and we try it.

I feel like this level of personal expression is valuable on some level and that now is a great time to try it all as long as her teachers don't mind.

When I was in high school and thought about getting a mohawk I asked my dad if I could, and he told me "Everyone has to make their own mistakes Melissa.". I was so surprised by his answer because he is such a generally free spirit and I was so angry and defensive that I became determined to do it. But once the clippers hit my scalp I chickened out half way through and had only 1/2 of my head shaved. This was probably for the best as my hair is pretty thin.

I want Megan to skip all that. I want her to just go ahead and try stuff. 

I will of course tell her if I think shes going to catch flack for it.

I found a new yucca recipe that I love very much.

I had a fair bit of energy to cook but hadn't been shopping in 2 weeks so I am making the things from the bottom of the freezer. This is the time to find that bag of frozen yucca.

We spent half of the weekend in Hagerstown at a Memorial Service and at the family events that attend memorial services.

It was a far less sad service than I have been to. It was not happy by any means but usually when people say a celebration of life the memories pour in but they tend to be bitter sweet at best. This time it really did feel like a celebration to a large extent.

There was a lot of talk about her cooking and her kindness and about her musicality and I came out of the service both knowing her better and feeling the sweetness of her life more.

I got to see a lot of people that I have only heard about.

I hate the loss of this generation. The war generation is so strong and so generous and I know that the world is better for them.

They got giddy towards the end (it could certainly have been the copious kirschwasser in the cake!). They began to sing, in German, and with a good tempo, and with fair sense of pitch.

I was so happy sitting in that room hearing those elders sing.

Sunday was Scout day. Kiernan went to a Cub Scout Shooting Invitational and Megan went to a Girl Scout Thinking Day event.

Basically he shot BB guns and a bow and a sling shot and she learned about other cultures through the medium of sweet snacks.

Successful scouting all round.